tzigany

Took a lot of time off for artistic training, among other things. Went to Ecuador for three months between November 2011 and February 2012, learned and forgot how to speak Spanish; went to New Mexico for a month (April 2012?) to see my goddaughter's family and ended up meeting Doc, my partner in crime; came back, went to work at camp for that summer; got out, went to college for the semester; mother messed up her knee on towards the end of the semester and I ended up doing all the driving and errand-running for two households for three months; father started having near-strokes on a regular basis at around the same time; had a big one the night before my math final and I ended up skipping it to deal with him; got his medication sorted out, so no more near-strokes, thank hell; have a tuition bill for a college semester that I haven't got credit for / have failing grades for / I'm seriously ceasing to care; and then... trying to figure out what to do with myself for three months, and here we are. I'm looking for work at the moment, but between my ignorance of how *to* go about looking for a job and the feeling that I'm still... trying to remember what to do with myself, I can't confess I've been looking very hard.

So, there's about two years in summary. I'll go digging through my harddrive and see if I can't upload some of the art I've accumulated and not posted. I'll sort through my currently-posted art, too, and banish most of my really really old crap to scraps or something. 6~9

Other than that...? It's time to set out again, I guess.

IN SHORT I TOTALED THE CAR

It was raining on the freeway Thursday and this construction truck in front of me braked suddenly. I was following 7-8 car lengths back, which would have been fine on a dry day _{but, you know, it was raining} and I braked suddenly too. They promptly locked up because my mother's car did not have antilock breaks. The construction truck swerved around the air conditioning van in front of it. I tried to swerve too, but I couldn't get the car to *not* drive in a straight line. And so I ran into the air-conditioning van.

BOOM.

At the back of my mind I've always been really aware of the possibility of a violent death. I guess it comes from reading too much Rurouni Kenshin 9_9; And I've never been sure how I'd handle a crisis scenario - I always thought I'd do well, but I've never known. You know the boxing saying "everybody's got a plan until they get punched in the face"? It was like that. Like most city folk I've lived in a bubble-wrap world. I had no way of knowing, because I'd never been anywhere close to balancing life and death on the edge of a knife. Could I keep my wits about me? Could I operate at fraction-of-a-second timing - make instant, irrevocable decisions and fully bear the weight of my actions? Or would I break down? Turn into a snivelling mess, flip out, freeze up; beg incoherently? Could I survive?

And if not, could I die honourably?

I've never been able to tell. Until Thursday.

And now I know.
I SO COULD SURVIVE THE BAKUMATSU, BEYOTCH.

At one car length to go and still pretty much at highway speed, my thought was, "Oops, here we go. Time to find out." My subconscious hit the Relax for impact, don't jar your teeth out or bite through your lip! switch without me even telling it to. I'm so very proud.

WHAM! I hit the van, the airbag deploys, and the sunvisor clocks me in the face and messes up my glasses. I take the airbag directly in the chest, and there is this SHOCKWAVE passing through my ribs. Really, they vibrated. And in a wave pattern; I could feel it moving through my sternum, around the outside and tapering off around my spine. It's very odd to have that sort of body-awareness; you usually don't feel where your bones are or what they're doing. I did.

It's after the vibration passes that I'm like, "Seems like no broken ribs. Actually, it appears I AM alive. In that case, time to call 911." At this point the airbag goes down so I can see-ish again, and I notice my glasses are on at a 45 degree wrong angle. "And get my glasses fixed again." I was just in there last Friday cos my sister elbowed me in the face. I'm usually in there cos my sister's elbowed me in the face; won't the glasses-fixer lady be like when I tell her what happened THIS time.

_{I guess I'm practical like that. >∇<}

The car is a godforsaken wreck. The hood is bent up in three places; the windshield is cracked all over; the dash has exploded with the force of the passenger airbag; my airbag has actually exploded OUT of the steering wheel, and seeing it drooling out now, uninflated like some odd amniotic sac, is really weird; the front bumper has fallen off on the ground like a detatched jaw; the engine is smashed up like Legos and scattered over the ground; etc, etc.

This I expected. What REALLY pisses me off is when I turn around to look for the van I hit and find that AN ENTIRE BRICK WALL HAS COME THROUGH THE BACK SEAT.



A BRICK WALL? WHAT THE FUTCH?! WHERE THE FUCK DID A FRICKING BRICK WALL COME FROM?!! WE'RE ON THE HIGHWAY, GODDAMMIT! WHERE DID THE BRICK WALL COME FROM??

MY TRUNK?!!

WHAT WAS A BRICK WALL DOING IN THE TRUNK???

Oh it's you mum.

Mum had put paving stones for the garden in the trunk. Like, six months ago. And hadn't told me/forgotten to tell me/I had forgotten/I have no idea what the fuck happened. _{Maybe that's why the gas mileage wasn't what it was supposed to be.}

Anyway, now it had capsized THROUGH the back seat - flipped the seats all the way up like they were on hinges, which they weren't - and collapsed into the seat well in a haze of cinderblock and really really old newspaper. It looked like the New Zealand earthquake in miniature in the back seat.

That was dangerous, mum. _{Srsly if my sister or one of the dogs had been in the back seat that wall would have crushed them and they would be dead.}

As to personal injury to myself, I got a grand total of a fingernail-sized piece of skin off of the bottom of my foot and a crick in my neck. And because my feet are like dog's paws, the skin wasn't even live flesh, only callous. So, a blister, essentially.

HOW THE FUCK DID I DO THAT.



I KNOW THIS IS ALL THE DOING OF MODERN ENGINEERING BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE I AM MADE OF SOLID BADASS.

Actually, what I feel like is a squire that's just survived their first life-and-death battle, and thus been promoted to 'knight'. Like, experience is the only proof of whether I've got 'it', what it takes to survive - and furthermore, live - in a time of warfare... That the first battle is not only a mad scramble, but a test. Like one can train, and one can prepare, and one can hope, but one can never fix the odds so the outcome is certain; that all one can ultimately do is try, and trust, and see what happens.

And I proved myself.

_{So, in the 1500s or so, back when they were still using plate armour but had started using firearms too, they would test breastplates to see if they'd hold up to gunshot by actually shooting them once. You'd know if your breastplate had been tested and passed if there was a bullet-shaped ding in it. I feel like that breastplate. PROVEN IMPACT-RESISTANT!}

Anyway. My laptop took the brick wall to the head and heroically came out of it with only a broken screen. We've checked her in to the field hospital and she'll be back with us shortly. (Two weeks, to be specific.) My tablet seems unaffected (ALSO MADE OF OF SOLID BADASS/bodilyshieldedbymyheroiclaptopbutwewon'tmentionthat). I went to the mainstream-doctor two hours after the crash, and to my chiropractor on Friday. Saturday I went to an interview at a garden shop I'm hoping to work at (think it went well! hoo rah!) and sent my laptop to the doctor. And today me mum got a wild hare to take us (me, my sister, and both dogs) out one city over to the quaint-chic town over the lake and through the woods and up in the hills _{(and nowhere near my grandmother's house, thank god)} and we spammed the natural parks and restaurants relentlessly. Dogs and all.

And then we went to the craft store. I got a crow-quill nib pen (since I cannot to digital art for a while I will learn to ink!), multimedia paper sketchbook, and an obscene quantity of high-end food dye for my White Day gift for mai wifu. Which will be COMIC CHOCOLATE. Yes, you heard me right. It will be EPIC.

And I will post a picture in case of failmail/for the rest of you.

OH SPEAKING OF FAILMAIL THE EDUCATIONAL DISCOUNT STORE REFUNDED ME MY $700 FOR THE ADOBE SOFTWARE THAT GOT LOST IN THE MAIL.

























It's been a CRAZY, though ultimately good, week.


Tzigany out.

It's been like... three months since I had anything to put in a journal entry. And I was getting kinda impatient.
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*CUE MURPHY'S LAW AND OMINOUS MUSIC*










SOO, I WAS GOING TO NOT SLEEP FOR A LITTLE BIT AND GET SOMETHING DONE LAST NIGHT.

<sub>I SLEPT WHETHER I WANTED TO OR NOT

UNTIL MY MOTHER WOKE ME UP AT FOUR AM BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT THE OTHER DOG HAD ESCAPED OUT THE BACK FENCE. IN SNOWED-IN-FOR-FOUR-DAYS WEATHER.

I'D JUST AMPED UP THE ADRENALINE TO STAGGER OUT OF BED, COUNTING ON NOTHING BUT THAT AND WEARING NO SHOES IN THE SNOW TO KEEP ME UPRIGHT AND CONSCIOUS... WHEN THE DOG COMES BOUNCING IN. SHE JUST COULDN'T SEE HIS CURLY WHITE POODLISH SELF AGAINST THE SNOW.

AND HE ROLLS ON MY BED. I MOVE TO THE COUCH. HE ROLLS ON MY HEAD. HE'S COLD. AND WET. AND A PUPPY. STILL GOT HEART PALPITATIONS AND TWITCHING; STILL CAN'T KEEP MY EYES OPEN AND FADING IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS. ^SOOOTIRED. THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME. BUT FINALLY I GET TO GO BACK TO SLEEP.

...MY FATHER WAKES ME UP AN HOUR LATER. "I WANT TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH, GO PUT UP THE LENTILS INSTEAD." STAGGER OUT OF BED COUCH AGAIN. GO TO KITCHEN, BLEARY-EYED. MAKE A POT OF COFFEE, CONSUME IT ALL, MAKE ANOTHER POT, CONSUME 3/4THS OF THAT, AND STARE AT THE POT OF LENTILS.

IT'S ONE OF THOSE BIG OIL-DRUM SIZED FUCKERS. FULL OF DYED-LIVID-YELLOW-WITH-TURMERIC LENTILS. NOW MIND YOU, I LOVE LENTILS, ESPECIALLY DAL (INDIAN-STYLE, IE ENOUGH TURMERIC IN IT TO HIGHLIGHT YOUR TEXTBOOKS WITH). BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE AN OIL-DRUM FULL OF THEM AT FIVE IN THE MORNING, THE SECOND TIME I'VE BEEN WOKEN UP. ESPECIALLY WHEN I ONLY GOT TO SLEEP AROUND MIDNIGHT ANYWAY.

BUT IT'S THERE. AN OIL-DRUM FULL OF HIGHLIGHTER-YELLOW LENTILS. AND, TO ADD FURTHER INSULT TO INJURY, THE POT IS BURNT COMPLETELY BLACK, BECAUSE THESE ARE THE LENTILS MY MOTHER CAUGHT THE WHOLE FUCKING STOVE ON FIRE WITH AT TEN O'CLOCK LAST NIGHT. NOW MUM, I APPRECIATE THAT IT'S IN YOUR CONTRACT TO TRY TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN COOKING AT LEAST THREE TIMES A YEAR. BUT YOUR TIMING REALLY SUCKS. MAY I REMIND YOU THAT WE'VE NOW BEEN SNOWED IN FOR FOUR DAYS. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THE FUCKING ROOF RIGHT NOW, THANK YOU. ^{MIGHT HAVE TO MOVE IN WITH MY GRANDPARENTS FOR A WHILE. I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. DON'T MENTION MY GRANDPARENTS. EVER.}

SO I PUT UP THE LENTILS. AND I SCRUB THE BLOODY DAMN ASH-ENCRUSTED OIL DRUM. DRINK THE REST OF THE POT OF COFFEE. MAKE ANOTHER POT, DRINK THAT. SIT AT THE COMPUTER AND STARE, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF I WANT TO GET UP AND START THE DAY (IT'S NOW SEVEN FUCKING THIRTY, AND I HATE SLEEPING TILL NOON) OR GET SOME GODDAMNED REST.

FINALLY GO FOR THE 'TAKE A NAP' THING. WAKE UP AROUND TEN O'CLOCK AND FIND MY MOTHER'S BLOWN UP HER COMPUTER AND THE INTERNET WITH AN AUTO-UPDATE.

AT THIS POINT I REALLY NEED SOME CHOCOLATE, BUT THE ONLY STUFF IN THE HOUSE IS INEDIBLE BAKER'S CHOCOLATE (and the half-pack of "Pocky for Men" in stern black packaging which cracks me the fuck up). SO USE MY AMAZING COOKING SKILLS TO MELT THE BAKER'S CHOCOLATE AND ADD SUGAR WITHOUT BURNING 1) THE CHOCOLATE 2) THE POT/BOOTLEG DOUBLE BOILER 3) THE RANGE 4) THE HOUSE OR 5) ME. HA-HAH, MUM. I GIVE HER SOME OF THE CHOCOLATE ANYWAY.

AND THEN MY SISTER AND MY FATHER CONFISCATED THE STOVE AND ARE MAKING BACON AND EGGS. WITHOUT BURNING 1) THE BACON AND EGGS 2) THE FRYPANS 3) THE RANGE 4) THE HOUSE OR 5) THEM.

MUM IS SITTING ON THE BED SULKING (SHE FELL ON THE ICE TWICE YESTERDAY WHEN SHE WAS OUT WITH MY SISTER BUYING POCKY AND BREAKING THE CAR) UNDER HER WOOLY LITTLE WHITE DOGS, WHO WENT OUT TO ROLL IN THE SNOW AND KINDLY BROUGHT HER SOME.

WHATTADAY.
















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Hello, all. Decided to try a revolutionary new concept - a current status post. Hopefully it works.

Current Status: Offline - working on trig playing j-rpgs I shouldn't be playing and hoping the power doesn't go out again.


_{Hopefully this will only spam your inboxes once.}

Hello, all. I'd like to apologize for my lack of results on my commissions - my midterms jumped up out of nowhere and bit me. I'm almost all through, except for a recital on... Thursday, I think? >.< This is a bad sign. Also, I haven't been in a recital since kindergarten, so I have no blinking idea what I'm doing.

^{No ees a good thing.}

Anyway. John Tracker, I've got another draft drawn for you. It turned out rather well, so you might like to just keep it in the first place. It's been scanned but I still need to do the cleanup. JacknBarbossa, I've got the lineart drawn in two pieces, but because my printer is acting up I haven't been able to splice them together. I might borrow my friend's tablet, since I don't own one yet...

All in all, thank you for your patience and we'll return to your regularly scheduled programming soon.